Yoda

“No, no different, only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned. ” ~Star Wars: Episode V

I wanted to be a mom and just breeze through the adoption process so I could put it behind me. Without realizing it I had a lot of preconceived notions about the process. Closed vs open adoption, gender, race, birth moms, etc.

Even with my 3 older siblings being adopted I was clueless. My husband and I learned a lot during a few sessions with Bethany Christian Services. We saw the history of adoption and how it progressed. We learned about why it was a shameful thing in the past and that there are still places that view it that way. We learned the right of both birth parents. A huge thing that hit home for our group was that an open adoption does not mean that if a birthmother bonds with the child she can just take it back. Once the papers are signed it is a done deal. 

Bonding with the biological parents of my future child seems impossible. Sure I will feel eternally grateful to them for this gift of life, but will I really know and care about them? Each person that Bethany brought in to share with the group confirmed that you are put together for a reason. God has a plan for you and them. One adoptive father said that his wife’s encouragement and love was exactly what the birth mom needed in her life. He said that they email all of the time and she knows that they care about her. Such a beautiful relationship!

Now that we have been accepted, through our formal application and fee, what’s next?

– prayer

– paperwork

– home study

– fundraising 

– waiting

Since we weren’t able to bring our sons home we have never raised a baby. Yes that’s scary and makes me want to go super slow in this process, but one of the adoptive parents also reminded us, “don’t let your fear (of the unknown) get in the way of your faith.” This same parent showed that waiting and control go hand in hand. Let God run the timeline. “The more I tried to control the situation, the more I got in God’s way.”

“Do or do not. There is no try.” ~Star Wars: Episode V