Baby Steps

“Baby Steps? It means setting small reasonable goals for yourself one day at a time. One tiny step at a time. For Instance…When you leave this office, don’t think about everything you have to do in order to get out of the building, just think to what you must do to get out of this room, and when you get to the hall, deal with that hall. Baby steps!” ~ What About Bob

During our time away from the adoption process we had several counseling sessions. Given that these sessions are private and personal it is hard to blog openly. There were several questions that our counselor brought up that we wanted to share though. Perhaps these questions could help you to process loss and/or relationships.
Did you grieve the loss of…?

In our case we talked about the losses of our sons and fathers that have all happened i the last 7 years.
What have you done to honor those you have lost?

A few of the things that we did were to walk in a NICU fundraiser in honor of our boys, and we had a memorial services or celebration of life services for all of them.

What would you change about your marriage (as it is now)?
How is your spouse leading you spiritually?
Why is this time different?

This makes me think of a certain quote, “It’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.”
How have you come out of these trials better and not bitter?
After a 4 month break from the adoption process our counselor sent a letter to Bethany about our progress. Unfortunately, the agency feels that they cannot work with us and have closed our case. I have started this blog post many times and wasn’t sure how to say this, but I did say that I would be honest with my readers.
So what will be our next “Baby Step”? We have talked and prayed about this. Starting over with a new agency will be tough and frustrating, but this doesn’t weaken our hope of being parents. It is just another obstacle among many that we have encountered.